Convention of Statesmen


Marriage on the Decline in Middle America

An article in the Deseret News "Marriage on the Decline in Middle America" caught my attention this morning. Written by Hikari Loftus, it triggered a great deal of thought on my part.

"The retreat from marriage in Middle America means that all too many Americans will not be able to realize the American Dream," W. Bradford Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, told the Deseret News. "Adults and children fortunate enough to live in an intact, married family are much more likely to succeed in school and the workplace, to acquire a home of their own and to experience an upward of mobility."

We live in a fast food, satellite delivering, society which operates nearly at the speed of light. We want what we want and we want it fast. Speed we have, endurance we do not. Marriage is two people saying "I love you too much to want to live my life without you." And then, these two people make a covenant with God and between themselves and they stick. Good times. Bad times. It matters not, you stick. That's what a covenant is. That's what grown-ups do.

I am the first to admit there are marriages that should end. Those dealing with abuse, alcoholism, drug abuse, porn addiction, gambling addiction, serial adultery, and more, they have a right and need to get out and get out as quickly as they can. I understand that completely. But I have heard people say, "It's just too hard" and then walk away.

Those of you who know me can picture my face right now.

I don't believe my married life has been an easy one. With my sweetheart's health problems we faced job loss, poverty due to huge medical bills, and many hospital stays. But through it all, we continue to laugh, love and live. I adore this man and I wouldn't trade an easy marriage for the life I have with Alvin Salima. Our marriage has been a courtship from the beginning, and nearly sixteen years later it still is.

They say the main components of a broken marriage are due to financial problems, health problems or unemployment...Alvin and I just look at each other and laugh. We made a covenant with God and each other on May 4, 1995 in the Bountiful Temple in Bountiful, Utah. And this marriage will last through the eternities because we love each other. It hasn't been easy, and at times, when my husband is in a coma, it is downright difficult. But I love him, not the money we do or don't have.

Marriage is worth fighting for ... in fact, it demands that you do fight for it. Learn to love and respect one another. Learn to understand your divine roles and how they compliment each other. In fact, without each other you simply cut your eternal possibilities short. Learn to work together, pray together, develop goodness together and read together. Attend church, read your scriptures and books by trusted theologians, exercise, eat right and remember to take care of each other before you take care of yourselves. Become true partners, one in the sight of God, and you will have a marriage that will last throughout the eternities.

Copyright 2010. All rights reserved by Candace E. Salima.
Marriage on the Decline in Middle America Marriage on the Decline in Middle America Reviewed by Candace Salima on Tuesday, December 28, 2010 Rating: 5