These are my parents, Fritz and Muriel Sluyter. With such parents, we were so incredibly blessed. They worked as a team, a united team, to raise us up unto God in the best ways they knew how.Today, I would like to talk about my father. We lost him earlier this year (March 8th) to Signet Ring Adenocarcinoma. It was an extremely difficult way to see my father finish his mortal sojourn.
Dad was born in Amsterdam, Holland and remembers the day his city was invaded by Hitler's armies. Later in his life, he began telling us what happened during those years. The atrocities (illness, starvation, betrayal, horror, attempted murder, concentration camps and more) he and his family suffered, how they survived through those horrific years. He told us of his unmitigated joy in finding the gospel and emigrating to the United States of America.
I've included a link to his eulogy so that you may learn more about this truly incredible man.
But the real purpose of this post today is talk about the power of a good father. You see, I've had both kinds.
My biological father could not control his demons; pornography, infidelity and booze. He was an absent father who took no part in the raising of his children, even when he lived with us. He did not nurture and love his wife as she deserved to be loved. I have no good memories of Leighton Freeman Case. Which is the saddest thing any child can say about a parent.
But when I was sixteen years old Mom and Dad (Fritz Sluyter) began dating. You've really not lived as a teenager until the phone is ALWAYS tied up by your mother! Oh yeah, this was long before the age of cellphones.
A father is not the one that can provided the latest in clothes, jewelery, iPhones, trips and more.
A true father is a devoted follower of Jesus Christ.
A true father is loving, kind and yet patiently firm.
A true father is generous with his priesthood, feeling willing and privileged to give a blessing of healing, comfort or strength at any given time.
A true father is there through thick and thin, regardless of how tough the times get.
My father was such a man. I love and miss him so much. For his strength, his honor, his patriotism, his fierce defense and testimony of Jesus Christ and the plan of salvation, his unending love for his fellow man and most of all for the way he loved us.My father gave me strength. He aided in the building of my testimony of Jesus Christ and His gospel. He gave me priesthood blessings whenever I asked or he felt I needed one. He hugged me and loved me every day he saw me. And the last words my father ever spoke to me were "You are a super daughter." He never spoke again except to painfully whisper to my mother that he loved her. He slipped into unconsciousness that morning, laboring to breathe and at 5:45 p.m. on March 8, 2007 my father shuffled off this mortal coil and soared into the heavens.
I miss his corny jokes. I miss his love. I miss his testimony. I miss his strength. I miss his ability to survive. I miss the way he loved my mother. I simply miss him.
This is the true measure of a father. My father, Fritz Hendrik Sluyter.
The Father of My Heart, Fritz Hendrik Sluyter
Reviewed by Unknown
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Tuesday, September 11, 2007
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Reviewed by Unknown
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Tuesday, September 11, 2007
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You are so blessed to have found a good father.
ReplyDeleteAnd your mother was so blessed to get another chance at love and found a good man.
Without question. My mother remained upbeat, faithful and determined to fulfill her role as mother, and a the best kind, after she and my father divorced. She and my father (Fritz) had been friends a long time. My dad (Leighton) cheated on my mom, one more time and they divorced. Dad's (Fritz) wife cheated on him and they divorced. It didn't take more than a year or two for my parents to look at one another with new eyes. They found a deep, respectful, abiding love that never dwindled but grew to enormous proportions.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I'm blessed. No question there.
People's stories are amazing to me. You mother would likely never have scripted circumstances like she faced, and yet the beauty and love she found there is incredible. That's wonderful.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful tribute to your father. Just curious, with a name like Fritz... was he of Swiss or German ancestry? My father in law was also a "Fritz"!
ReplyDeleteJosi,
ReplyDeleteSo very true. None of us, I believe, what have scripted what we've endured if we'd known the tremendous pain. But the reward my mother found in my father, the father of my heart, was a great blessing to her.
Thank you, Rhonda. My father was born of a German mother and a Dutch father. So half and half.
ReplyDeleteLoss is hard, especially when we lose something so precious to us. I lost my father and my sister when I was only 22. I still miss them so much and when something good happens to me, I wish I could share it with them. I like to think they already know as they keep tabs on us down here on earth. Your Mom and Dad sound like wonderful people. Like others have said. What a blessing!
ReplyDeleteMike (Happy Gilmores)
ReplyDeleteI know. Something came up the other day that I just had to share with my dad. It's hard to remember he's gone at times. Thanks for dropping by and sharing your thoughts.
I have tears in my eyes as I read this, I feel your pain, I still miss my father (and mother) so very much too.
ReplyDeleteWhat you're saying about being a good parent is so true, you don't necessarely have to be a blood relation for that.
X
That was a lovely tribute to your father. It is heartening to know that such great men exist. I'm glad that even though you miss him you have such great memories of him.
ReplyDeleteBTW, you commented on my blog about a month ago and I have been out of commission for a month with severe morning sickness. I finally read your football post and you are right . . . we are quite alike! Thanks for the invite to joing the webring.
Marja,
ReplyDeleteI wonder if the pain ever really goes away. From what everyone has said, I don't think it does. But I know I was so blessed to have a man such as this be my father.
Principessa,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. He and my husband are the reasons I started the Best Husband in the World contest. I'll probably end up doing one for fathers and mothers before I'm through.
I'm pleased to have you as part of the LDS Blogs webring. I'll activate your site as soon as you put the code on your blog.
Beautiful tribute to your father. How funny that you would post about father today, when I spent the morning putting a little something about my dad on my blog. Great minds think alike! :) My dad is a great man who also honors his priesthood. My parents are workampers in the Grand Canyon.
ReplyDeleteHe sounds like a wonderful person, and you can see it in his smile, too. I'm so sorry for your loss, but the upside is that you were privileged to be able to know him so well and have his influence in your life.
ReplyDeleteCandace,
ReplyDeleteWhen the tears stop, maybe I'll be able to see if what I write is legible. What a beautiful tribute to your dad. You were blessed to know him as your father, but he was equally as blessed to know your as his daughter.
I lost my dad in October of 2002 and it hasn't gotten much easier to talk about him. The pain hasn't gone away. There is a measure of peace, simply because of my gospel knowledge. But that knowledge doesn't take away the fact that I still miss him desperately. I especially miss him when I look at my two boys who are growing up without a grandpa, and when I realize that my younger son doesn't remember him. He wasn't a perfect man, but he was one of the great men. He was a faithful man who taught by example and he was a wonderful father.
Thank you for sharing. And thank you for the invite to your webring.
Thank you, Carrie. Great minds think alike, right?
ReplyDeleteShellie thanks for stopping by my blog. And yes, it was one of the greatest blessings of my mortal life to have him as my father.
Holly, my sister cried about the same thing when we were told my father only had weeks left. Her son, who is now 10 months old, will grow up without knowing Grandpa. It broke her heart.
But please remember that Grandpas, Grandmas, Moms and Dads never leave us alone. They are part of the team the Father puts together to aid and protect us through this mortal sojourn. That being said, I really miss my Dad. I hope the pain begins to less at some point. I hate welling up with tears every time I write or speak something about him. Wreaks havoc with the makeup and the sinuses.
Yes lieverd, the pain will less, but will never go away completely.
ReplyDeleteThat's a good thing, I look at it positively, we'll never forget our loved ones that way.
btw, you have your mother's smile!
X
Thanks Marja. That is a relief to know. Welling up every time I mention my father's name is difficult for me and hard for the person I'm talking to . . .I'd like to stop that some day.
ReplyDeleteAnd your are right, I will never forget him, nor anything he taught me.
I have my mom's smile, really? Thank you so much!
What a beautiful tribute. Especially considering that he didn't have to be your father. He chose the role. My children have a wonderful step-father and I remind them often that he is extra special because he married me knowing he would get to be their father.
ReplyDeleteIt is a huge blessing, isn't it? These wonderful men who take on the love and responsibility, bringing these children into their hearts as if they were their own.
ReplyDeleteMy father adopted six of us, I was 17 years old when he became my father. What a blessing it was.
Thank you for sharing such a beautiful post. Seems to me you were all so fortunate to know how love can heal and strengthen. I wish you comfort and peace as you remember a wonderful man and father.
ReplyDeleteThank you, HipWriterMama. My husband and I talked about it today. He said the pain does lessen and your heart does heal. You just never stop missing them. But you do stop crying every time you talk or write about them. Waiting for that to happen!
ReplyDeleteCandace, what a beautiful tribute to a wonderful man. I'm so glad you were eventually blessed with a father who honored his priesthood.
ReplyDeleteI know the pain of losing a father. It does take time to ease past that inner sting. There were many years of tears and pain. Now I feel only peace when I think about my dad, and I look forward to a reunion that will take place someday beyond the veil.
Thank you, Cheri. I also look forward to that reunion beyond the veil. I cannot wait to see him again, reunited with his perfect physical body and free of all the pain that was his constant companion for the bulk of his life.
ReplyDeleteIt has helped today to have so many post comments about the healing that eventually takes place and the peace which resides in your heart. Thank goodness for the gospel and the knowledge of the plan of salvation. I can't imagine how painful it would be without it.
To scroll down and see the photo of your father next to the Savior took my breath away. This visually shows me how much you must honor, cherish and respect your father.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing I can think of right now, is that if we all had a picture of ourselves next to the Savior, like the one of your father, and had it displayed where we could see it often, how would we be different?
I'm very touched Candace. Thank you for sharing.
Ajoy,
ReplyDeleteWhen my father died my mother was in such pain, such unrelenting unrelieving pain. I was the only child there with them at the time and my dad had asked me to give the eulogy and to arrange the funeral, the part he didn't get done. Oh yeah, my dad arranged as much of his funeral as possible. (Huh, that brought a smile to my face.)
I called my brother, who is a phenomenal artist (Cash Case) and asked him to find a picture of the Savior painted by either Simon Dewey or Greg Olson and superimpose Daddy into the picture. He did it within 30 minutes and emailed it back to me. When that picture came up on the monitor, I called my mother into the office. She took one look and started to cry and said over and over, "Oh yes, oh yes . . . that's what I needed to see."
We put this picture and the one in the right hand column in his funeral program. I then printed both photos as 8x10's, framed them and hung them in my mother's room.
They've created such peace in our family. So yes, I understand how your breath was taken away by that picture. It was for me too.
Candace, your post has me in tears. Thank you so much for sharing your father with us.
ReplyDeleteKeeley, no problem. He is an incredible man and I miss him very much. But oddly, it helped me to work through a great deal of pain and I'm not even tearing up, much, as I write this. That wasn't the case yesterday, believe me.
ReplyDeleteOh Candace, this post made me cry. I felt sad, yes. But it was the tangible love you injected into your words that left my eyes welling up with tears. I'm so sorry you had one earthly father that failed you. But THIS man, what an incredible man to step up and step in (to your life and your heart). Love the image of him with Jesus.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
~Toni~
Yeah, my dad was an incredible man, one I will always be grateful to have had in my life.
ReplyDeleteThat image with the Savior brings a great deal of peace and comfort to my heart. I'm glad you liked it too.
This was so beautiful and touching, Candace. I feel very blessed to have been born to a good father. A man who has his flaws and weaknesses, but who has applied the atonement in overcoming them, thus setting the supreme example for me. I miss your father for you too. He seems like a wonderful man.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Jenna. I appreciate you dropping by my blog.
ReplyDeleteI feel such happiness for you- having this man as your Father. Though, I will admit, as I read what others have commented and what you have wrote...I'm jealous. Very jealous. I've never had a wonderful daddy like what you describe and it stings. I am so grateful that many other women I know have the oportunity to be loved, cared and taught by such men. I only wish it were so for me. Selfish...I know. But I still wish it were so.
ReplyDeleteAjoy,
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you never had a father like this. Believe me, I had both kinds and so I understand. I hope, that as men read this post about my father, they strive to become more like him and less like their friends. Unless their friends are like my dad and then that's okay.
Anyway, hang in there. Be the kind of mother you know you should be. Encourage your husband to be the father he should be and create that in your own home.
I got seriously gypped in the Grandpa/Grandma category if that makes you feel any better.