Being Me is Just So Time Consuming

If only I could awaken to something as beautiful as this every single day.

But alas, I awaken to the city with mutant cottonwoods taking over my garden and back yard, the Japanese beetle sticking its stupid little nose in our neighborhood causing no planting for three years . . . oh, I could go on and on, but I won't. I'll just look at this picture and soak up the beauty.

So, I was checking blogs again, when I ran across one that gave me a fit of the giggles, even in its simplicity. Her entire entry was:

I'm reading Joe Jones by Anne Lamott...and just came across this quote that made me laugh in recognition: "She thinks: Being me is just so time consuming."I haven't been able to forget the quote. Being me is just so time consuming . . . it really is.

Here's the basis of an average day for me.

1. Roll out of bed, stagger down the hall dodging the piles of books my shelves no longer have room for and slump down in front of my computer.

2. Rub my eyes while things boot up, yawn and grimace at the cracking of my jaw and then push my hair out of my eyes.

3. While still in my PJs with my eyes barely open I began my work day, morning breath and all.

• I check my email for orders and process them for my online bookstore, Renewal.
• I check my blog for any comments that need to be addressed.
• If I've already written it, upload my blog. If not, I write and then upload my blog.
  
• I check other blogs, cruise the net for marketing ideas and writing tips as well as schedule firesides, speaking engagements and booksignings. Oh yeah, note to self. Check calendar for anything I have to do today that would require brushing of teeth, showering, putting on makeup and doing my hair.
  
• I open my current manuscript on my computer, any one of the four I'm working on, and begin re-reading what I wrote the day before and hopefully pick up where I left off without staring at my computer screen with a dumbfounded look on my face wondering where the heck was going with what I'd written.
• I open my internet browser to www.m-w.com -- that would be Merriam Webster Online. Spelling is a problem when your half comatose.
  

4. That's when I notice that I'm supposed to meet my walking partner in 20 minutes. I hit Save on everything I've been working on, jump up and race down the hall, again dodging those same stacks of books, and change into exercise clothes in record time. I remember at the last second to brush my teeth so that she doesn't pass out when I greet her. Then run down the stairs, out the door and jump in my truck. My walking partner likes to walk along the river.

5. Stagger in from my walk. Jump in the shower and remember to close my mouth so I won't drown while I stand waiting for my brain and body to recover with the torture I just put it through.

6. Dry off, decide not to do my hair or makeup, put on sweats and head back to my computer.

7. Shoot! I forgot we don't have any clothes, I hit Save, just for good measure, run downstairs and get the laundry going, decide to vacuum the living room and make my bed.

8. Head back to the computer, but stop to answer the phone. It's my mom. I love talking to her, so thirty minutes later I hang up and take a step toward the office when I remember that it's probably time to put the clothes in the dryer and put another load in the washer.

About this time, as one thing begins to pile on another, I grab a book, curl up on the couch and just listen for the timer on the dryer while I dive in. And then I remember why I used to get up at 4:00 and write. I sure got a lot more done when I did that.

What was that about "early to bed, early to rise? Eeeewwwwww!" But I did produce three books and four screenplays that way. I guess no more nightlife for me.