Life without Sons and Daughters

Today I've been browsing around the internet looking at all the different blogsites. It's a great thing to find a new one and then check out all their links. As I was doing that very thing today I came across a blog on infertility. While this is not something I talk or write about often, it is indeed a topic that is very near and dear to my heart.

My husband and I married late in life, not on purpose, that's just the way it worked out. I was almost 32 when we married and we began to start our family right away. We both come from very large families and we wanted a large family of our own. We decided we didn't have any time to waste if we wanted more than 2 or 3 children.

After eight miscarriages in eight years, it was simply too much for me. I could no longer physically, emotionally or spiritually handle miscarriage after miscarriage. My husband and I discussed, prayed over it and made the decision to stop trying. It was heartbreaking because adoption was not an option for us (my husband has kidney failure.)

That, however, is not the point. Throughout those years, my sister (Heather) and her husband (Aaron) had children. Connor, then Stormy followed by Brigham, and then came along Skye and finally sweet baby Elias. As each of these children came into our lives Heather and Aaron generously shared their children with us. If I began to miscarry I would call her and she would respond with "I'll be right over with the babies."

The babies healed us. Without question, those sweet children would throw their arms around my husband and me and kiss us and whisper "I love you, Auntie and Uncle." And they would stay with us until the tears were gone.

Sweet Connor, who you see to the left, has labeled himself my protector, even from the early age you see here. (He's almost ten now.)

I was on bedrest again, with yet another pregnancy, and Connor was cuddled up with me on my bed. We were watching his favorite movie, Galaxy Quest, and enjoying ourselves immensely. There was one part, when the cute little aliens turn into scary monsters and indulge in cannibalistic behavior, which I knew scared him. So as that part was coming up, I cuddled him close and said, "Connor, here comes the part that scares me." He jumped up into a crouch, spread his arms and said in his two-year-old-voice, "I'll protect you, Auntie." Any wonder that my heart melted right on the spot?

Over the years these children have continued to heal us every possible way until we have come to love them as if they were our own.

What is my point you ask? While life may have dealt us a hand we were not expecting, we can certainly turn it into aces high if we open our hearts to those around us. There's no question we help my sister when we take her kids for a couple of days. But, there is also no question that these times are treasured by Alvin and me. We love having those children around.

So while we remain without children of our own, we are not childless. And this is a blessing Heavenly Father has given that can never be counted in value, because it is priceless.