First: I'll issue the warning I've issued before. If you must drink alcohol, don't drink yourself into oblivion and make yourself the perfect victim. It is the height of stupidity and the consequences can be beyond devastating. Point in case: Audrie Potts.
SAN JOSE, Calif. – Awakening in a friend's bedroom after drinking too much at a sleepover, 15-year-old Audrie Pott looked down and realized she had been sexually assaulted and her attackers had written and drawn on intimate parts of her body, her family's attorney said Monday.
Over the next week, she pieced together one horrifying detail after another. She went online and tried to confront the three boys she had known since junior high who she believed had done it.
At school, she saw a group of students huddled around a cellphone and realized that at least one humiliating photo of her was circulating. (Read the rest of the Article)
Second: These three boys committed a heinous crime. I find it to be disingenuous and equally criminal for any cop, prosecutor or judge to say that it is less of a crime because Audrie was unconscious.
1) They took someone unable to fight back and raped her multiple times.
2) They defiled her body with markings and revolting claims.
3) They took pictures of their crime and shared them.
They should not only be tried as adults, the magnitude of the crime and sentence should be immense. The principal and teachers who knew this young girl was being bullied in such a manner as to precipitate this type of crime should be promptly fired and never allowed to teach again.
Tell me why it is a hate crime if the color of the victim's skin is anything but white, yet when a young girl is brutalized, taunted, bullied and is so humiliated and mortified over the abuse and what happened that she kills herself...it's not a hate crime, nor is it apparently a crime of any magnitude in California.
Tell me why Barack and Michelle Obama will cry to the world: "Treyvon could have been my son" "Hidaya could have been me." But remain silent to two crimes EXACTLY as I've described happening in America and one in Nova Scotia, Canada?
Tell me why NOW isn't screaming at the top of their lungs in defense of these young girls and the equal victimizing of them by the educational and judicial systems.
Tell me why the ACLU isn't screaming about the civil rights of these girls to have control of their own bodies, conscious or unconscious, and their subsequent suicides not being treated as murders?
Once is horrific, twice is horrific and a growing problem. Are we going to wait for a third girl to be victimized and to take her life because the animals who go to her school decide she's the perfect victim? There must be laws commensurate with the heinous nature of these multiple crimes.
Audrie Potts could not handle what happened to her and the continued bullying and hate which happened after the event at the school. At the tender age of fifteen she committed suicide. Her life cut short because of a poor decision, and the capitalizing on that poor decision by the animals masquerading as teenage boys.
I see a systemic problem in this entire situation, and it has spread across our nation.
1) Audrie attended a sleepover, presumably at a friend's house. This is where she drank herself into oblivion.
2) Three teenager boys decided it would be a fine idea to rape her multiple times, mark her body up, and never had a twinge of conscience.
3) These teenage boys took pictures of their crimes on their cellphones and then shared with friends and schoolmates.
4) Where were the parents? Where were the other girls? How was these crimes possible in a house full of people?
Here's the systemic problem, tell me why these three boys were not confronted by other students at the school? Tell me why the coach didn't tear them up once side and down the other, kick them off the team permanently, demand they be expelled from the school, and call the police? Tell me why the principal didn't do the same and expel them? Tell me why their teammates didn't beat them to a bloody pulp for such monstrous behavior? Tell me why the girls at the school didn't rally around Audrie and make those boys pay?
Do you see the problem that has become American society? This MUST be corrected and it must begin in the four walls of your own homes. The family unit is disintegrating right before our eyes and we are seeing consequences of this destruction play out in the news.
Parents I realize you can only do so much, but are you doing the four simple things that could bind your family together? Are you speaking regularly to your children to help them understand stories like this and what should have played out instead of what did? I'm sorry, life is cruel and innocence is lost far too soon. But these things must be discussed.
As a family, please make sure you having Family Home Evening every week. Choose an evening, one evening, during the week and make that family night. Make it the same night every week. During that time, teach your children of God, of goodness, of responsibility, of courage and of actions vs. consequence. Also spend some of those night playing games, going to plays, movies, or concerts. Create a garden, and work with your children to tend the vegetables and fruits, and teach them that in so doing there will be food on the table later.
There are four things you can do to strengthen your family and help your children to grow into responsible, caring adults.
1) Work together. As a family, take time to work in the home together. Parents working alongside their children will teach them how to work properly, how to work well, and instill in them a strong work ethic.
2) Learn goodness together. In abdicating this critical lesson to others we find America in the mess we are in now. Parents must teach each their children what is right and what is wrong. Help them to grow and learn that there really are rules we must abide by in society, but also help them to understand why.
3) Read good books together. A literate society is very difficult to destroy. Such a society can learn to see through the lies and find the truth for themselves. Books help the reader to reach beyond the restrictions of their lives and soar into stories that take them far away. Well-written books teach, inform, inspire, and entertain. In reading together every evening, you are broadening the horizons of your children and opening up a world of possibility.
and,
4) Pray together as a family. In so doing you help your children to understand their role in God's kingdom as a precious child of God. You teach them to petition Him in times of trouble, sorrow and joy. You help them to recognize the gentle whisperings of the Holy Spirit and help them realize they are never alone in this world. Praying as a family, morning and night, provides protections from the world that would otherwise not be in place.
These four things, if faithfully done by parents, will heal society within a generation or two. This I believe with my whole heart and know that instances such as the one that began this post must never happen again. This can only happen if we strengthen the family unit.
America, we are a nation founded on bright ideals and fundamental truths found in Judeo-Christian teachings. We were taught to reach beyond the boundaries the world has put on us, and to reach for the sky. We were taught that God had granted us unalienable of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness (which was initially property); and that no government should ever take those away. We have been a part of astounding discoveries in medicine, industry and technology. We have produced amazing authors, artists, musicians and actors. We are America because we believe in the greatness of what began us.
If we forget this; if we cease believing in our greatness, then we descend to the depths that produce the crime written of above. America, shake it off. Remember who you are. Remember we have a loving God who watches over us, but allows us to make mistakes. The healing balm of Gilead is available to all who pray to our Heavenly Father.
Remember who you are, America. Remember.
Audrie Potts could not handle what happened to her and the continued bullying and hate which happened after the event at the school. At the tender age of fifteen she committed suicide. Her life cut short because of a poor decision, and the capitalizing on that poor decision by the animals masquerading as teenage boys.
I see a systemic problem in this entire situation, and it has spread across our nation.
1) Audrie attended a sleepover, presumably at a friend's house. This is where she drank herself into oblivion.
2) Three teenager boys decided it would be a fine idea to rape her multiple times, mark her body up, and never had a twinge of conscience.
3) These teenage boys took pictures of their crimes on their cellphones and then shared with friends and schoolmates.
4) Where were the parents? Where were the other girls? How was these crimes possible in a house full of people?
Here's the systemic problem, tell me why these three boys were not confronted by other students at the school? Tell me why the coach didn't tear them up once side and down the other, kick them off the team permanently, demand they be expelled from the school, and call the police? Tell me why the principal didn't do the same and expel them? Tell me why their teammates didn't beat them to a bloody pulp for such monstrous behavior? Tell me why the girls at the school didn't rally around Audrie and make those boys pay?
Do you see the problem that has become American society? This MUST be corrected and it must begin in the four walls of your own homes. The family unit is disintegrating right before our eyes and we are seeing consequences of this destruction play out in the news.
Parents I realize you can only do so much, but are you doing the four simple things that could bind your family together? Are you speaking regularly to your children to help them understand stories like this and what should have played out instead of what did? I'm sorry, life is cruel and innocence is lost far too soon. But these things must be discussed.
As a family, please make sure you having Family Home Evening every week. Choose an evening, one evening, during the week and make that family night. Make it the same night every week. During that time, teach your children of God, of goodness, of responsibility, of courage and of actions vs. consequence. Also spend some of those night playing games, going to plays, movies, or concerts. Create a garden, and work with your children to tend the vegetables and fruits, and teach them that in so doing there will be food on the table later.
There are four things you can do to strengthen your family and help your children to grow into responsible, caring adults.
1) Work together. As a family, take time to work in the home together. Parents working alongside their children will teach them how to work properly, how to work well, and instill in them a strong work ethic.
2) Learn goodness together. In abdicating this critical lesson to others we find America in the mess we are in now. Parents must teach each their children what is right and what is wrong. Help them to grow and learn that there really are rules we must abide by in society, but also help them to understand why.
3) Read good books together. A literate society is very difficult to destroy. Such a society can learn to see through the lies and find the truth for themselves. Books help the reader to reach beyond the restrictions of their lives and soar into stories that take them far away. Well-written books teach, inform, inspire, and entertain. In reading together every evening, you are broadening the horizons of your children and opening up a world of possibility.
and,
4) Pray together as a family. In so doing you help your children to understand their role in God's kingdom as a precious child of God. You teach them to petition Him in times of trouble, sorrow and joy. You help them to recognize the gentle whisperings of the Holy Spirit and help them realize they are never alone in this world. Praying as a family, morning and night, provides protections from the world that would otherwise not be in place.
These four things, if faithfully done by parents, will heal society within a generation or two. This I believe with my whole heart and know that instances such as the one that began this post must never happen again. This can only happen if we strengthen the family unit.
America, we are a nation founded on bright ideals and fundamental truths found in Judeo-Christian teachings. We were taught to reach beyond the boundaries the world has put on us, and to reach for the sky. We were taught that God had granted us unalienable of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness (which was initially property); and that no government should ever take those away. We have been a part of astounding discoveries in medicine, industry and technology. We have produced amazing authors, artists, musicians and actors. We are America because we believe in the greatness of what began us.
If we forget this; if we cease believing in our greatness, then we descend to the depths that produce the crime written of above. America, shake it off. Remember who you are. Remember we have a loving God who watches over us, but allows us to make mistakes. The healing balm of Gilead is available to all who pray to our Heavenly Father.
Remember who you are, America. Remember.
Copyright 2013. All rights reserved by Candace E. Salima.
Don't Make Yourself the Perfect Victim
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