Heartlessness in Family Relations

Having taken the admonition of the ancient prophet, Moroni, to heart:

Behold, I would exhort you that when ye shall read these things, if it be wisdom in God that ye should read them, that ye would remember how ^amerciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ^bponder it in your ^chearts.

And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ^aask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not ^btrue; and if ye shall ask with a ^csincere heart, with ^dreal intent, having ^efaith in Christ, he will ^fmanifest the ^gtruth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. (Moroni 10:3-5)

And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may ^aknow the ^btruth of all things.

My nephew is being baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on May 31st. I can't begin to express the depth of love I have for this young man and the courage he has shown in following that path the Savior has laid out for us. His testimony is strong. His heart is full. He literally shines with the goodness and knowledge he now hold inside his heart.

He shared this wonderful news with his parents, who are of another faith, and they were happy for him. They may not understand his decision, but they do love him and, therefore, want him to be happy. Becoming a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is what makes him happy. He was greatly relieved and overjoyed to know they didn't give him a hard time or disown him.

And yet, the other night when he told his sister, the response was much different. She, in essence, disowned him and broke his heart in the process. This was the sister he was closest to and this is very difficult for him. It has not swayed his testimony, nor his decision to be baptized, but he is a very sad man right now.

At 1:30 in the morning, my nephew's former roommates, all five of them, showed up at our house to give our nephew a priesthood blessing. My nephew, before the blessing began, bore his testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and the power of his words struck a deep chord in my heart. He sat in the wooden chair placed in the center of our living room, my husband (still recovering from his kidney transplant) sat in his easy chair while I reclined on the floor, leaning against the entertainment center. One by one, these young men, each a worthy priesthood holder, placed their hands upon my nephew's head and pronounced an inspired, comforting and beautiful blessing, administering that spiritual balm of Gilead which heals all wounds. The Spirit of God filled our living room and peace settled upon the hearts of all privileged enough to be there at that time.

Tears filled my eyes and my heart was filled to overflowing as these "brothers" gathered around one of their own, and through the power of the priesthood and overwhelming love they have for this inspiring young man, literally swept me away.

Why do I bring this up? Simply because I cannot begin to understand walking away from a family member because you do not agree with a decision they've made to join a church different from your own.

Where in Christ's teachings are we taught to ridicule, hate or disown another for believing differently?

Where in Christ's teachings are we taught to eschew all we've learned and instill such pain on a loved one that will leave an everlasting scar?

Where in Christ's teachings are we taught to turn our backs on family over a profession of belief in Jesus Christ and a desire to continue on the path already trod by so many following in Christ's path?

My nephew continues to inspire me in all his actions. And on May 31st we will gather together and watch this phenomenal servant of God be baptized into the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. There is no doubt in my heart that he is meant to be a "warrior" in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. There is no question that his testimony, his heart and the power of his spirit will touch thousands upon millions, in one way or another. I look forward to May 31st and for the continual reminding this young man gives me of the gospel and the excitement which fills our hearts as truths learned long ago are brought into the forefront of our spiritual memories now.

I know that his sister's heart will eventually soften and it is my fervent hope that these damaged bonds will be completely healed. On my nephew's part, he feels nothing but great love for his sister and longs for that day. On his sister's part, she is filled with rage and pain at this time . . . it is my prayer that she will allow the healing touch of Jesus Christ to sweep those from her heart and this brother and sister may be reunited again.

I am reminded of the words of Mormon, another ancient prophet:

And again, my beloved brethren, I would speak unto you concerning ^ahope. How is it that ye can attain unto faith, save ye shall have hope?

And what is it that ye shall ^ahope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have ^bhope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life ^ceternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise.

Wherefore, if a man have ^afaith he ^bmust needs have hope; for without faith there cannot be any hope.

And again, behold I say unto you that he cannot have faith and hope, save he shall be ^ameek, and lowly of heart.

If so, his ^afaith and hope is vain, for none is ^bacceptable before God, save the ^cmeek and lowly in heart; and if a man be meek and lowly in heart, and ^dconfesses by the power of the Holy Ghost that Jesus is the Christ, he must needs have charity; for if he have not charity he is nothing; wherefore he must needs have charity. (Moroni 7:40-44)

Therefore, it is hope, charity and meekness which we must seek, and it is my hope, again, that my niece can find these in her heart to simply love and accept her brother even though he has chosen a path different from hers. It is all any of us can hope or desire, that we reach for those finer emotions and qualities that we can truly become more like Him we follow, Jesus Christ.

Return to the Neighborhood!

Yet Another Outrage Regarding Illegal Immigrants

A friend of mine sent me this link . . . with our recent experience of Alvin's kidney transplant and its lovely $250,000 price tag, I am outraged! I've included the entire text, which can be found on her blog:

Liver transplants for illegal aliens: Entitlements + open borders = disaster

By Michelle Malkin • April 14, 2008 10:11 AM

I’ve written before about organ transplants for illegal aliens–and been attacked by the usual socialist suspects as cruel, heartless, and racist for questioning the wisdom of US public policy that indiscriminately allocates scarce health resources at taxpayer expense to illegal immigrants. The open-borders entitlement mentality has only grown deeper since the last time this issue went national with the case of Jessica Santillan. The ideologues who believe that America should be the medical welcome mat to the world have prevailed. Via the Los Angeles Times:

Ana Puente was an infant with a liver disorder when her aunt brought her illegally to the U.S. to seek medical care. She underwent two liver transplants at UCLA Medical Center as a child in 1989 and a third in 1998, each paid for by the state.

But when Puente turned 21 last June, she aged out of her state-funded health insurance and was unable to continue treatment at UCLA.

This year, her liver began failing again and she was hospitalized at County-USC Medical Center. In her Medi-Cal application, a USC doctor wrote, “Her current clinical course is irreversible, progressive and will lead to death without another liver transplant.” The application was denied.

The county gave her medication but does not have the resources to perform transplants.

Late last month Puente learned of another, little-known option for patients with certain healthcare needs. If she notified U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services that she was in the country illegally, state health officials might grant her full Medi-Cal coverage. Puente did so, her benefits were restored and she is now awaiting a fourth transplant at UCLA.

Puente’s case highlights two controversial issues: Should illegal immigrants receive liver transplants in the U.S. and should taxpayers pick up the cost?

The average cost of a liver transplant and first-year follow-up is nearly $490,000, and anti-rejection medications can run more than $30,000 annually, according to the United Network for Organ Sharing, which oversees transplantation nationwide.

Donor livers are also in scarce supply. In California, nearly 3,700 people are on a waiting list for livers, according to the network. Last year, 767 liver transplants were performed in the state. More than 90% of the organs were given to U.S. citizens.

Donor livers are generally allocated through a geographically based distribution system on the basis of how sick the patients are and how long they have been on the transplant waiting list.

Immigration status does not play a role in allocating organs.

Doctors and illegal alien patients rely on DHS incompetence and the deportation abyss to abet them:

If illegal immigrants inform the state in writing that U.S. immigration services “is aware of their presence and does not plan to deport them,” they could be eligible for full-scope Medi-Cal, said Norman Williams, spokesman for the state health department. Medical condition is one factor that would make immigrants eligible for coverage.

The immigrants send a form to Citizenship and Immigration Services, but the agency said it does not respond to patients or make any promises about their immigration status.

And the game continues, with illegal immigrants now voicing indignation at the inconvenience:

Jose Lopez said he came to the U.S. with his mother illegally as a child. Soon after, he contracted hepatitis A and received his first liver transplant. Eight years later, he got cirrhosis and received another transplant.

Both were performed at UCLA and paid for by the state.

As his 21st birthday approached, his mother, Maria Elena Lopez, searched for clinics that might agree to treat her son. She applied for Medi-Cal for him but has not received a response.

Her son turned 21 on Aug. 7. He said the UCLA doctors gave him extra medications to hold him over.

About a month later, his mother found the Roybal clinic, which provided Lopez with medication and monitored his care. Though his drugs never lapsed, his liver is still in rejection.

“I’m just mad,” he said from the Los Angeles apartment he shares with his parents. “You can’t just leave a person to die. That’s pretty much what they’re telling me: ‘You’re illegally here. We’re just gonna let you die.’ ”

He said he doesn’t blame UCLA for not wanting to treat him free, but added, “I was hoping for some miracle.”

Lopez just learned about the relief Puente received and said he may follow the same route. He hopes to return to UCLA for treatment.

Question: Would the Mexican government stand for illegal aliens on its soil demanding such entitlement?

Hell, no.

Home at Last!

We are home at last. What an interesting, and at times, troubling experience.

Alvin and I did not receive a phone call from the hospital Monday night, nor had Tara, to tell us what time we were supposed to show up at the hospital, where to check in, pre-registration, nothing, nada, zip. So I gave them a call just before five in the evening and found out that our 9:30 a.m. check-in time was wrong and we were supposed to be there at 5:30 a.m. for a 7:30 surgery time. What a portent of things to come.

We had dinner with Tara and almost all of her family (her parents home for two weeks from their mission, temporarily excused to care for their daughter during her surgery and recovery), along with seven of her nine brothers and sisters with their wives and children. What a fantastic evening it was. Alvin and Tara had to eat by six so they could do the cleansing of the bowels thing. Sorry, no other way to say it. Both of them were up until 2 or 3 before they finally fell into exhausted sleeps for less than an hour or two.

We were on the road by 4:30 a.m. to the Intermountain Medical Center off 53rd South in Murray (just south of Salt Lake City.) We arrive around 5:20 and proceeded to Same Day Surgery where we checked in. Alvin and Tara were told to go to the kiosk, sign in, get a beeper (just like the ones at Outback Restaurant) and sit down. Unspoken was the "and shut up and don't bug me." I have rarely seen a more impersonal, cold beginning to what was an extremely important day. Nevertheless, we laughed about it, they did their thing and we all sat down to wait. Tara's mother and sister were with her and they are an absolute delight.

Thirty minutes didn't pass before Tara was taken back and we waited. Waited for 4 1/2 more hours growing more frantic by the minute. We were told Tara had been taken into surgery at 7:00 a.m and still we were in the waiting room. 8:00 a.m. passed, as did 9:00 a.m. and then 10:00 a.m. We grew more and more worried and then Alvin began to fear they would mistakenly put Tara's kidney in someone else. We knew that the second Tara's kidney was taken out it had be taken directly to Alvin's O.R., next door, for insertion into Alvin's abdomen. But we were still in the Same Day Surgery waiting room. Five complete hours went by before they came to get Alvin. We were frightened, but more so, completely livid at the lack of communication, unprofessional behavior and carelessness of the Same Day Surgery reception for being so dismissive of our fears.

Once Alvin was back in a cubicle we demanded to talk to someone, anyone, who knew what was going on. Here's the scoop:

Sometime before midnight the night before, a young man committed suicide. Almost at the same time, another young man literally drank himself to death. Both bodies were raced to IMC for possible donation of their organs. As soon as they arrived, our surgeon began the removal surgery (called harvesting the organs (a bit cold I know, but it is the term they use.)) As soon as the match was made with a potential recipient, they, the recipient, was called and told to be at the hospital by 3:00 a.m. in order to receive the needed organ. He/she didn't bother to show up until 7:00 a.m. Therefore, they were not able to began that transplant until 7:30ish. Hence the delay.

Oh yeah, one more little bit of info, Tara had NOT gone into surgery, despite what we'd been told. She was on her gurney, tucked into a little cubbyhole outside the O.R. waiting her turn . . . for 2 1/2 hours. Her mother and sister had been told about the cadaveric transplant, which always pushes live donor transplants back, but somehow they were given the mistaken impression that Alvin was receiving the kidney from the teenager while Tara's kidney was going to someone else. With that little bit of misinformation they became frantic as well. But, we were still in the waiting room, so that clearly wasn't so.

Eventually the mess was straightened out, after a very stressful five hours, when Anne (the nurse practitioner for the Transplant Team) came out of the O.R. and came to talk to us. She'd been told how upset we were, but not why. By the time we told her everything that had happened, she was horrified and explained everything that had gone on to that point and Tara was definitely NOT in surgery.

You know, a little bit of checking of the facts would saved a lot of fear and rage that morning instead of the relaying of one bit of false information after another. Simple protocols, put into place, would have avoided the entire mess . . . but this was only the beginning of what we were to see as a major breakdown in patient care.

At 11:30, a full six hours after we'd arrived, Alvin finally went into surgery. Dr. LeGrand Belnap was nothing short of brilliant. The protocols of the hospital were horrific, but his skill and tenacity in completing the transplant/tummy tuck (or plenectomy as they like to call it, assuming I've spelled it right) was amazing He and Dr. Van der Werf (the surgeon who operated on Tara) did impeccable work.

Tara's surgery took three to four hours, with three hours in recovery. Tara was taken to her hospital room where her mother and sister were waiting to help care for her.

Alvin's surgery took 6 1/2 hours with two hours in recovery. It was decided Alvin should be taken to ICU because of how long he'd been under and his sleep apnea. They wanted to have someone constantly checking on him, which he would not get on a regular floor.

When they finally let me in to see him, at 9:00 p.m. that night, I was astounded at the difference. His eyes, which had been bloodshot and yellow for years were absolutely clear. I'd spent an hour or so in Tara's room, waiting for the idiots in the hospital to communicate and get Alvin where he was supposed to be. They wouldn't let me near him, so I saw how laid out Tara was by her surgery. I expected the same with Alvin. But he was laughing, smiling, talking . . . doing absolutely fantastic. The difference in his face, with the new kidney in for just a few hours, was astounding. I can't begin to explain the difference. Whereas illness hung over my husband constantly, for the 13 years we'd been married, now health fairly emanated from his body. Yes, he'd had a massive surgery, two major procedures, but he looked absolutely amazing! I was shocked, as was his brother. The kidney began working the second they hooked it up in Alvin's body. Absolutely astounding! They'd prepared us for an up to 3 month delay of function because organ's often go into shock after being transplanted. But not Tara's kidney . . . I believe we have all the fasting and prayers to thank for that!

I was able to spend an hour with Alvin before I had to leave. I couldn't spend the night in his room, as planned, because he was in ICU. I called a missionary son of ours, Jarel, as I left the hospital because I was beyond exhausted. Truly bone deep exhausted. I wasn't sure I could make it home. I spoke to him for a few minutes and then called our good friends, Scott & Lori, and they spoke to me the rest of the way home so that I wouldn't fall asleep. I pulled into our driveway at 10:25 p.m. and was in bed and sound asleep by 10:30 . . . I kid you not. It's a miracle I managed to even get my jeans and t-shirt off first.

By 6:45 the next morning I was on the road back to the hospital. Sadly, I'd forgotten their shift change hours are different than Utah Valley Regional Medical Center in Provo. When I arrived, they wouldn't let me in to see Alvin until 8:30. So back into the elevator I went and took a ride to the 10th floor where I spent that time with Delyle (Tara's mother) and Tara. Tara was in so much pain and very nauseated from the pain medication. It took two, maybe three days, to get that straightened out. Once they did her real recovery began. What a sweet angel that woman is . . . Tara endured so much pain because of her gift of life to Alvin. We can never express, nor fully repay, this incredible thing she has done for my husband. Truly, I have prayed constantly for her quick recovery and the blessings of heaven poured out upon her and her family for the remainder of their lives.

Finally I was let in to see my husband and he was doing great. They had him on a dilaudid drip, which was causing him to itch head to toe. So they were giving him Benadryl, or actually it was something else, I can't remember now, to counteract the itch. His night nurse, Shannon, was really wonderful, as was his nurse that morning. We were really blessed.

Toward afternoon, when Alvin was finally given the go ahead to be transferred to the 10th floor, Tara's sister, Amber, sneaked into ICU and found us. She told us the room next to Tara's was being cleaned, gave us the number, and we immediately began conspiring to make sure we got that room. We told everyone who came into Alvin's room that we wanted to be in 1008. Amber went up to the 10th floor and told everyone there that Alvin was being transferred to 1008. I'm not sure what worked, but that is where we ended up, right next to Tara. We were very happy about that. When they could overcome the pain, they were visiting in each other's rooms. With Delyle staying with Tara, and me with Alvin (showed up Wednesday morning and didn't leave until yesterday, with my husband by my side) we had fun with each other, as much as can be had in that amount of time.

Here were the downsides:

• In the O.R. waiting room we were subjected to constant announcements over the P.A. - Trauma in O.R. 2! Code Blue in O.R. 8. On and on it went. For those of us in there for 4 to 8 hours it was a harrowing and heart wrenching experience wondering if that call was about our loved one! It only took me two hours to get the bright idea to go see which O.R.s Alvin and Tara were in. We were lucky, there's were never called. The psychological trauma of those constant announcement were great upon those waiting in the waiting room though.
  

• Tara was on ice chips until the morning she left the hospital due to a miscommunication. Once we found out what was going on, Alvin ordered me to get it fixed. We (Delyle and I) did and got her a meal, which she could only eat a portion of, before she left. They released her and she couldn't get out of there fast enough. Amber, her sister, said they were keeping her there, starving her, so they could harvest the rest of her organs. An exaggeration, but the patient care was so severely lacking we didn't laugh very hard.

• At times, it took up to 20 minutes before anyone would answer the nurse call button. One of Alvin's tubes (the one directly to his heart) popped loose on Wednesday night and blood was pouring out everywhere. I had to race outside and find our nurse because no one responded. Granted, I only gave them 30 seconds before I raced out of his room and found his nurse. But Alvin and Tara suffered with this lack of response so many times or even no response at all.

• That same night the tube popped loose, Alvin's nurse and his aide had a passive/aggressive fight right next to Alvin's bed at 3:00 a.m. Yeah, you read it right. I was so angry when I woke up to that and realized what was going on. Alvin and I looked at each other, but both of us were still shell shocked from the last 48 hours that we didn't say anything until the next morning. I have to admit, the fight has been beaten out of me because of the last few years. Two years ago, both of them would have been kicked out of the room and their heads figuratively ripped off. I would have reported them and they would have been immediately replaced. That night, Alvin and I just shook our heads and prayed they leave the room. Yes, I am writing a letter to a number of people detailing all of this.
  

• Anti-rejection medications were not administered according to schedule. Alvin is supposed to get his anti-rejection meds every twelve hours with a very small window of wiggle room. One of his nurses consistently brought the medications an hour to an hour-and-a-half late. Not within the window of time, just so you know. We lived in fear that the kidney would be rejected. Luckily they were giving Alvin another medication which builds a bridge so that the body can accept Prograf, one of the anti-rejection meds. Otherwise, I do believe rejection would have set in. It didn't matter who we talked to about it, no one did anything. We got his meds when they were good and ready to give them to him and they didn't care about any deadlines. I asked the nurses, the doctors, the pharmacist, was this standard procedure and had they terrified us about the medications while misleading us about the importance of the medication schedule. No, they assured us. This should not be happening, Alvin should have been receiving his medications every 12 hours. Of course I followed it up with, "Why hasn't he then?" Contradicting answers, prevarication . . . we were subjected to it all.

• At 4:30 or 5:00 each morning these idiots dragged a scale into Alvin's room (a big huge mama honkin' one, not one like we have in our homes) and made him wake up, get up and stand on the scale. Have these people never heard that all healing takes place during sleeping hours? But nevertheless, there they were, regular as clockwork every morning. Crazy.

We had three of incredible nurses: Melissa, Jennifer and Pam and three incredible aides: Adela, Breann and another whose name I cannot remember, on the 10th floor. The rest of them, including the aides, should not be working on the transplant floor.

And so it went every day, in Alvin's room and in Tara's, Delyle and I doing the best we could to take care of Tara and Alvin and make sure they survived the lack of quality patient care. Again, protocols put in place and followed would have alleviated all of the problems, literally all of them.

By the second night, Alvin stopped all the pain medication because it was making him itch so bad. He just cowboyed up and hung in there. Let me give anyone advice regarding tummy tucks. Don't do it! Alvin had little to no pain from the kidney transplant and is still having massive pain from the tummy tuck. I don't know why anyone would put themselves through that! Hit the gym and avoid it at all costs. The after care is no picnic either.

Despite all of this, Alvin and Tara continued to progress. Alvin's health is absolutely amazing. I still, every hour of every day, am amazed at the increasing strength and health of this man. Everything is functioning as it should.

On the last day, Alvin had made it through without any complications. It was a red-letter day and we were so excited. It was the day he was coming home. The aide came in around 4:30 in the morning to draw a sample of urine from Alvin's catheter. This was normally the lab tech's job, but for some reason she was doing it instead of one of them. A catheter, as many know, has a balloon filled with liquid inside the bladder to keep it from falling out. If that is pulled, without the balloon being deflated great damage ensues, along with huge amounts of pain. Yeah, you guessed it, she pulled on it. My husband, who has a very high tolerance for pain, was literally racked with overwhelming waves of pain that caused him to tremble. Blood began to pour from the catheter and the nurse was brought into the room. It was five hours before the decision was made to take the catheter completely out. Alvin was in excruciating pain the entire time.

When the catheter was finally removed 95% of the pain dissipated immediately. The rest, he continues to deal with, along with a damaged urethra which is slowly healing. Alvin and I were so upset, for a variety of reasons, but also because we had asked them to be especially careful with his bladder. Two years ago, when Alvin was at death's door and the last emergency surgery was performed, the catheter was inserted so roughly it poked a hole in his bladder. So this time, we asked that special care be taken.

By this point I'd completely had it. They mentioned they might not release him that day and I put my foot down. I told them I was taking my husband home because I could take better care of him there than they were there. I went down the list of the problems which had occurred from the beginning and explained I wouldn't leave my husband there another day.

I brought Alvin home from the hospital late yesterday afternoon. He had a rough night but is drastically improving with every hour. He is not allowed to go to church or be in big crowds (due to his suppressed immune system) for the next 6 to 8 weeks, but he is doing great. The pain is lessening with every hour and we are so grateful to see how healthy he is feeling, despite that pain.

We are eternally grateful for this miracle which has occurred and that Alvin's life has been spared and extended. I love this man with my whole heart and life without him was a dismal proposition which brought me to great despair. Tara, with a generous heart, gave him a new life and April 15th is no longer tax day for us, but now is New Life Day. It will be a yearly anniversary greatly celebrated.

Thank you so much to all of you who prayed and fasted on Alvin and Tara's behalf. You have truly helped miracles to come about. Daily I watch Alvin become stronger and healthier and we are so excited for the rest of our lives. Right now we are living each day learning the medications, remembering to weigh, take temperatures and blood pressures morning and night, tracking his numbers, etc.

As an example of the health which grows, here are the numbers we track:

Hematacrit (Red Blood Cell Count) -- Tuesday: 46, Wednesday: 40.9, Thursday: 40.1, Friday: 35.3, Saturday: 36.2, Sunday: 37.8, Monday: 42 (Effected by I.V. -- Normal 36 to 46)

White Blood Cell Count -- Tuesday: 11.5, Wednesday: 10.6, Thursday: 8.6, Friday: 5.6, Saturday: 4.1, Sunday: 5.3, Monday: 7.8 (Immune system depressed to prevent rejection. Desirable level: 3.6 to 10.6)

BUN -- Tuesday: 40, Wednesday: 36, Thursday: 39, Friday: 35, Saturday: 30, Sunday: 25, Monday: 22 (Desirable level: 6 to 21, high levels indicate kidney failure.)

Creatinin -- Tuesday: 12.2, Wednesday: 6.9, Thursday: 3.5, Friday: 2.2, Saturday: 1.9, Sunday: 1.6, Monday: 1.5 (Desirable level: 0.6 to 1.1, high levels indicate kidney failure.)

His levels just get better and better every single day. His Creatinin and BUN are two levels we have watched for years. To see them getting more normal every day has just been the most wonderful thing.

May God bless each one of you who participated in the creation of a new and healthier life for my husband. Some of you donated money, many more of you prayed and fasted and others offered continues words of support and love. All were deeply appreciated. Our hearts were deeply touched by outpouring love and support given to us at this time. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I am truly beyond exhausted, so if this rambles a bit, I apologize. I'll probably remember it better once I've had a few nights rest. In the meantime, good night my sweet friends and family. My the Lord watch over and keep you safe.

To those of you at IMC who truly cared for my husband I express heartfelt gratitude. You know who you are because we made a point of thanking you at the time. But with all that went wrong during this hospital stay, we have not forgotten your kindness or thoughtful care of Alvin during this momentous and scary time. Thank you.

Addendum: As I read over this I realized I left out my main point for bringing up all the bad stuff: As far as their transplant services . . . astounding! Really, IMC has an amazing transplant team who literally saved Alvin's life with their skill and knowledge. They are the top transplant surgeons and team in the nation. It's the hospital itself I had problems with, and yes, I am filing formal complaints.

But I wanted everyone to know to please be careful about that hospital. If you do have to go there, make certain a loved one remains with you at all times. The do make it easy to do that. Couch pulls out into a bed, if you can get the aide to do it, they'll bring you towels, etc. for showering. If not, I know where they keep that stuff now and just drop me a line, I'll point you in the right direction.

Update on Alvin

Hi Everyone,

This isn't Candace . . . this is Tristi, so forgive me if I'm a bit vague. I just got off the phone with Candace up at the Murray hospital and she asked me to come online and give you all an update so you know how Alvin is doing. The Internet at the hospital isn't working, so she's a bit out of contact with Blogland right now.

Alvin was in surgery for 6 1/2 hours, and Candace didn't get to see him until nine o'clock on Tuesday night. When she did, however, she says she was amazed at the difference, and the changes that are still occurring even now. His eyes are bright and no longer bloodshot. His skin is returning to a normal, healthy brown - it had been turning black in some areas. His tummy is gone, thanks to the tummy tuck. The kidney started to work as soon as it was in place -- and, I hope Candace (and Alvin) don't mind a direct quote, but she says "he's peeing up a storm." His attitude is great and he's been laughing and joking, sitting up and visiting. He's in quite a bit of pain from the tummy tuck, but he's gone off the pain medications and is dealing with it.

His donor, Tara, is feeling pretty rotten. She's in pain and has been throwing up. I can't imagine throwing up with an incision like that -- must be so painful. Candace says, "She gave Alvin this incredible gift of life but now she's paying a horrible price for it." I can't help but feel that Tara's sacrifice will be rewarded a thousandfold.

Candace says they're going to be releasing Alvin either Saturday or Monday. "You will not believe the difference when you see him," she says.

Many other things happened on the way to surgery, and Candace will give you a full update when she returns. In the meantime, if anything else happens, she'll call me and I'll come break into her Blogger account again.

Online Writing Classes Announced!

Instructor: Candace E. Salima

LDS Author Candace E. Salima is currently teaching two online classes, "Getting that Book out of your Head and onto Paper" and "How to Market your Work and Increase Sales."

Please see the details for each class listed below:

Instructor: Candace E. Salima
LDSWritingSchool.com

Learn to write for the LDS market from those who already do it well! Helping LDS Writers become LDS Authors.

Getting that Book out of your Head and onto Paper!

Lesson 1: Idea, Outline and Research
Lesson 2: Refining Outline and Creating a Story Treatment
Lesson 3: Story Flow and Structure
Lesson 4: Character Development
Lesson 5: Dialog vs. Exposition/Narrative
Lesson 6: Readers, Critique Groups and Editing

This writing class will be taught every Monday, via TalkShoe, utilizing their conference call software as well as email and MSN Messenger. The first class will be held on May 5, 2008.

Cost is $150, or $125 each if class is taken with a friend, there is no limit on the number of friends. If six of you want to take it, then six of you will get the discount price. You must simply follow the instructions below.

$150.00 (Single) $125.00 (Buddy)

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How to Market your Work and Increase Sales!
Got a book? Need to sell it? This class will tell you how.

Lesson 1: What is Expected of an Author
Lesson 2: Blogging
Lesson 3: Virtual Book Tours
Lesson 4: Podcasting
Lesson 5: Book Signings / Readings
Lesson 6: Public Speaking

This self-marketing class will be taught every Tuesday, via Talk Shoe, utilizing their conference call software as well as email and MSN Messenger. The first class will be held on May 6, 2008. Cost is $150, or $125 each if taken with a friend, there is no limit on the number of friends. If six of you want to take it, then six of you will get the discount price. You must simply follow the instructions below.

$150.00 (Single) $125.00 (Buddy)

Information regarding assignments will be sent upon registration. If you use the Buddy Price, you must include that friend's name and email in the Note section when you pay the fee. Your friend must sign up within 24 hours or you will be required to pay the remaining $25.00.

I have been asked, numerous times and from many venues, to take these classes on the road. At this time, that is a virtual impossibility. However, with technology as it stands today, we're in good shape.

Upon receiving confirmation of your signing up, you will receive an email from me with specific instructions.

Deadline: April 30, 2008, midnight. There will be no students accepted after that date.

Personal Touch with Rebecca Cressman

Last week Rebecca Cressman of yourLDSneighborhood interviewed me. It was a wonderful experience and one I enjoyed very much. To listen, click here. To read, here is the transcript of that interview:

An Interview with Candace E. Salima

This is A Personal Touch, a chance to check in with ordinary people making an extraordinary difference in the world. I’m Rebecca Cressman and today we are pleased to be joined by Candace Salima. She is an author, a screenwriter. She has been a reporter, a religious speaker and a teacher, and more importantly she has been talking to others about the importance of staying positive and the lessons we can learn from adversity. And I mention that because as you have written and published books like Out of the Shadows and Into the Light and of course the football remembrance book called 13 and O, Reflections of Champions from the B.Y.U. Days," you’ve also put together a book that is very inspiring called Forged in the Refiner’s Fire.

Q: Candace tell me why you chose a book that would talk about how challenging life can be, but how that can work in our benefit?

A: Well, it’s really interesting because it seems as I get older that everywhere I turn people are undergoing astounding trials. I mean ones that seem to make them stumble, to waver in their faith, to simply just give up on life when those trials are merely put here for us to become stronger more effective people. And so when Elizabeth Cheever who is my co-author contacted me about doing this book together, we went ahead and sent an e-mail out to everyone we knew and asked them to forward it to everyone they knew, so that we could get stories that we felt would be inspiring. We read through hundreds of stories. And the ones that we chose specifically for this book were ones of people from all walks of life who had suffered tremendously, and when I say suffered tremendously I mean they really had. We followed how they went through those trials, how they overcame them, how they drew closer to the Lord in the process, because the overwhelming message of this book that we want to put to the world is that we were not meant to walk this path on Earth alone. That our Savior suffered in that Garden of Gethsemane, and again on that cross so that He could be with us and comfort us, and give us strength to overcome these trials and grow in the process. So that is why we chose to do the book.

Q: Well, and Candace, when you talk about the hundreds of stories that were coming your way and you are looking for diverse experiences, were you looking then for those who would tell what it’s like to go through physical challenges? What it’s like to go through emotional or relationship challenges? How wide of a scope were you casting?

A: Oh, we cast it as wide as we could. We have women that overcame prescription drug addictions. We had a world famous entertainer, Meryl Osmond, share an experience about when he and his brothers put on the inaugural show for Ronald Reagan and all the obstacles they ran into, including someone losing their life. And ranchers who had horses rear up on them and fall back and crush their pelvises, to women suffering…myself for instance…I had a story in there. I suffered eight miscarriages. I shared one particular story of when we tried the invitrio fertilization. So it really is across all scopes of trial. It is for every person. Not particularly for men and not particularly for women. We have an ex-S.W.A.T officer in there who lost his career due to a horrible injury on the job. Really! It just covers everything. It is for everyone. To strengthen them and help them feel capable in reading these stories and realizing, my goodness, maybe my life isn’t so bad. Or wow! They have it just as bad as I did. Look at how they overcame it. I can do this too!

Q: I appreciate you sharing also your personal experience, because it is a pain that so many people can relate to, Candace. I appreciate your generosity. I am assuming these individuals have all opened up some private portion of their lives and talked about fears. Besides the common goal of you as an author and your coauthor to show that there is spiritual support for those who are struggling, did you find other things in common in these different painful difficult journeys that each individual shared with you?

A: I really did. One of the overriding common themes was the darkness that just seemed to descend with the depression as each of us was dealing with that particular trial in our lives. The feelings of hopelessness and helplessness and how different things even just walking out for me...for instance...walking out and seeing the beautiful flowers in my garden. Looking over to the left and seeing those majestic Wasatch mountains up against the blue, blue sky, that alone would confirm to me that God existed and loved me because it was so beautiful. To others who heard a song that lifted them up out of that darkness for a moment, but every one of us went through a time where we gave up, and someone, something lifted us up.

Q: And again as you reach out to the community and I know Candace from your blog, and for those who have not had a chance to check out your blog, it is one of the most in depth blogs that I have seen out there. Where, you are not just using an opportunity to impress upon people the importance of having hope in life and having faith in life. You are not just taking opportunities to speak to people about that message that you feel so strongly in your heart, but you are also blogging about it. Writing about it, everyday! That is something that is also cathartic? Do you find that people enjoy sharing and hearing about your own personal insight?

A: They really do. I get lots of wonderful emails and comments from people who just say, “Thank you! I can do this. Now I know I can do this.” Do you know there is no greater compliment to me? No greater words that I can hear that, that book has helped someone to break out of that dark cloud and see the sunlight once again. Yes my blog, I share about that. I share about life in general. I share about the things we can do to become involved in the community. To maybe take that spotlight off of ourselves and start serving others. And in making the neighborhoods and communities better we become happier, stronger people. And so I really blog about every aspect of it.

Q: I noticed also that you spend a number of hours of your day writing. This book is out now, Forged in the Refiner’s Fire, but what are some of your future projects?

A: I have two projects that are in the works right now. One is called Standing on the Fifth which I am co-writing with Meryl Osmond. It is a fiction story amazingly enough. It is an action suspense geared towards the national audience. We are really excited about that, hoping to have that out by fall. Then the sequel to, Out of the Shadows Into the Light, which is called, Dreams Die Hard. That one I hope to have it out before years end as well.

Q: Do you enjoy writing non-fiction more than fiction or vice versa?

A: No I love them both. If my brain gets tired on one, I just flip over to the other. I have two books, non-fiction books I am working on as well. One is called, The Heart of a Woman, which addresses all the issues that women face today in every aspect of our lives; in motherhood, in being grandmothers and aunts and working in the corporate business. Whatever! Everything that we face and answers given to us by the Prophets and Apostles. And then one called, The Tale of Two Fathers. That is also non-fiction. The first half of the book will be about my biological father who had a horrible childhood, and then made choices that ruined his life. And then the father of my heart that my mother married when I was 17 had a much worse childhood than my biological father; had far more reason to curse God, and instead devoted his life to God: the changes and effects that he made across the nation, because he chose a different path. And so I just go back and forth. It just depends on what I wake up and want to work on that day.

Q: Fortunate are we that you wake up and want to work on something everyday because of our opportunity to read your stories. Now is it the father of your heart that was born in Germany during the war?

A: Yes, yes that is him. He passed away last year. I have felt over the year a stronger...well actually...an overwhelming need to pick up where he left off. He traveled all over the nation and shared his experiences during World War II, and what it was like to have a complete lack of freedom and privileges. And how privileged he felt to be an American. I have felt like I need to pick up that torch. This book is part of that. But I am also putting...my mother brought me a whole box of all his notes...and I am putting together a complete presentation to start doing to schools and churches as well on my father.

Q: I have one more question for you, Candace. As we touched earlier, you are sharing your ideas on blogs. You have a beautiful website, you have books that you are turning out, and you speak very often to different age groups. From the lessons you have learned in your life so far about putting challenges and adversity in perspective, what do you tell the younger generation when you stand before them and say, “I myself have suffered losses, but...” how do you continue that? That sentence for young individuals to be able to know what life might bring them?

A: Really life is a series of obstacles and triumphs. That is what it is. We were put on this earth to triumph over life. Not be crushed by it. Even at a teenage age they are surrounded by parents, by loving church leaders, by teachers at school, by friends, by family. Everywhere there is somewhere to turn for help. And certainly I always offer to every group I speak to if they feel completely alone, they are to remember Jesus Christ suffered for the grief and pain they are feeling at this very moment in time. And that I am happy to speak with them and they can email me, and I will refer them, if they need real help, I will refer them to some good sources. If they just need someone to talk to, I make myself available to talk to them. To just be a listening ear and to open their eyes and help them to see that they were sent here to accomplish great things. And they can’t do that as long as they don’t believe in themselves. They need to start believing in that divine spark that was born with them, and to flame it into a raging fire that will show a standard and a light unto the world. And stand shoulder to shoulder with every other youth in the world as standard bearers and emissaries of Jesus Christ.

Q: Candace, thank you so much, as you mention the word fire reminding us that she is the author of many books including, Forged in the Refiner’s Fire. With stories and lessons of what other’s have done when they have struggled with challenges and adversity. Thank you so much for taking a few moments of your time and joining us for a Personal Touch.

Thank you Rebecca, I appreciate it very much.

And we want to thank also our audience for joining us for this week’s edition of A Personal Touch. Be sure to check your email next Saturday to find out who else like Candace Salima is making a difference in our world with a personal touch.

End of interview.

Come on home to the neighborhood . . . a great place to shop, browse and learn about the best and brightest with Rebecca Cressman's Personal Touch. Click on the picture to shop the neighborhood blocks.

Understanding the Romance Fiction Genre

Chick Lit, romance, womens fiction . . . the terms go on and on, usually stated with great amounts of scorn and disdain. I thought I might explain a little about why romance outsells any other genre in the world. Yes, my Robert Jordan and Brandon Sanderson fans, even fantasy.

The reason the romance genre appeals so much to people is simple. There is a formula in romance. But the key, the thing that brings hundreds of millions of people across the world to libraries and bookstores to obtain copies of a variety of romances and their sub-genres is this one simple fact: in a romance the ending must be good. It is formulaic, but it works and speaks to the human psyche. Regardless of what happens in the book, if it is to be clearly identified as a romance, the couple must have overcome the obstacles in their paths, whether emotional, psychological or physical (often all three), and have made a commitment to one another by the end of the book.

In a world so torn with war and terror, and where bankruptcies and foreclosures are climbing to dangerous heights and beyond. In a world where life can beat you down, press you down or make you feel like society is a lost cause, there are a few hours of enjoyment for those who read romance. A few hours free of a chaotic world being fought over between the forces of good and evil. Put simply, there is a sense of completion, happiness, and relief at the end of a romance novel. This is why they are so popular.

There are the light romances, there are the relationship romances, there is romantic suspense . . . whatever the genre or sub-genre, it is something to be reckoned with, no doubt. It sells more than any other genre, worldwide, every year. Depending on the author, romances do indeed have plenty of meat to them. But it is the substantial kind, or the fantastical kind, with plenty of raw emotion, real obstacles, and real danger that appeals to me. I do not much care for the light romances unless they are written in a humorous manner. But romance does go across the board from light to heavy.

Different authors speak to different people as do different styles. I have my favorites and rarely, unless it is highly recommended, purchase authors I don't know. That is, unless I have a little free time, which is rare, I need a book, and none of my favorites are releasing a book that month . . . then I'll look for a new author.

There are people who go into a library and check the romances out, A to Z, because they just want to read something with a happy ending. And, if they are checking A to Z out they are not particularly concerned with quality, but merely quantity. It is just the way some people are. Life is not the busy merry-go-round for all people as it is for so many. They don't have hobbies such as gardening, crafts, scrapbooking, cross stitch or sports. Their hobby is reading.

Reading is one of my hobbies. I own thousands of books and in fact, have an actual room in my house designated as a library. My husband very kindly built shelves, put in a desk, and I write every day surrounded by books, wall to ceiling in nice shelves. The books in my library range from biographical, autobiographical, reference, religious, historical, suspense, romantic suspense, romance, western, fantasy, science fiction, modern fiction . . . if the story is good and the writing is good then I'm going to buy the book. And yes, I read books over and over and still, I am constantly buying new ones. But if there's a good romantic suspense on the store shelf, I'll grab for that one first, every single time. I need good to overcome evil. I need the bad guys to pay in the end. I need the hero and heroine to be happy, in a committed relationship, and have a certain degree of control over their environment by the time I turn the last page. That's why I read romance. Life follows that pattern less and less these days, that's why the fictional world, colored with romance, is so popular.

Well-written romance is a boon to a woman's soul, and sometimes a man. Yes, real men do, on occasion, read a romance. You might have to hold something precious ransom, like the television remote, to get them to do it, but it happens. I promise. Here's what I feel when I finish a well-written romantic suspense:

• Good beat evil, again;
• Love can conquer all, at a great price often, but it can conquer;
• Love is worth fighting for;
• Recognized mutual weaknesses in a fictional character are highlighted and rectified in my own personality;
• Family first. Family Strong. Family Together. Always.
• And yes, we can win.
  

Let's narrow this down to the LDS Market. Christian fiction came into being because people were tired of having to skip pages in the national romance novels. In the LDS Market we have romance powerhouses such as Anita Stansfield, Rachel Ann Nunes, Jennie Hansen and more, who have thousands upon tens of thousands of fans because they write clean romance, and, yet, the formula remains. Woman meets Man. Man and Woman have trouble, whether of their own making or an outside source. Man and Woman overcome trouble and commit. Yet, the same feelings arise in the hearts of the readers of Christian romance as they do with national romance.

We need to know that somewhere, even in a fictional world, that there is still a happy ending.

Whether the Christian market (of which the LDS Market is a part) or the national market, romance continues to outsell everything else, and always will.





Return to the Neighborhood.

Update on Alvin

First: My girlfriend, Danyelle over at Queen of the Clan is holding a Chick Flick contest. Pop on over there and vote. She needs more people participating and it's a painless, quick process. Go cast your vote for your favorite Chick Flick.

But most importantly - we had our last appointment today with the surgeons, transplant coordinator, nurse practitioner, pharmacist, financial coordinator . . . did I miss anyone? Oh yeah, the lab . . . and appointments with Dr. Belnap on Friday, along with chest x-rays and EKGs. But other than that we're good to go for Tuesday's surgery.

Alvin and I drove up to the appointments with Tara, Alvin's donor and truly the most generous, giving woman I have ever met. What we thought would be an hour to an hour-and-a-half trip turned into five hours. There were so many forms, and meetings, and discussions and . . . and . . . and . . . yeah, my head is spinning. But we really enjoyed the time with her. She is as delightful as she ever was. The teenager has grown into an incredible wife, mother and friend. I'm so impressed with her.

Alvin is tired but hanging in there. We're both looking forward to Tuesday, and we're both nervous as well. Lots of prayers between now and then.

My peers are holding a fast on Sunday for Alvin and Tara; and my family and friends are holding one on the 15th, the day of the surgery. People flocked to support us as we struggled with unexpected expenses and we have been able to meet those. Now if the financial coordinator would quit changing the numbers on us. I don't know, I thought I knew - but now I don't, if Alvin's anti-rejection meds will cost $200 a month or a $1,000 a month. She has me so confused it'll be a miracle if I don't have an ulcer by the time this whole process is through.

This is what I do know, regardless of what happens we are in the Lord's hands now and everything, one way or the other, will turn out okay. I have my job at LDSBlogs.com and now a second job at yourLDSneighborhood -- both of which I am very excited about. Now the question will be if my entire salary goes to medication or just a portion of my salary. I figure I'm going to stop trying to figure it out because every time I settle on a number and plan for it, she changes it. Very stressful for someone who likes to plan everything as soon as possible so that any surprises are minimal, especially the monumental financial kind.

But I'm good. Alvin's good. We're taking up meditating and deep breathing . . . we figure we can stay calm that way.

Just think, at this time next week, after 6 to 8 hours of surgery, Alvin will have a new kidney. I still can't quite comprehend it.

The Daily Herald Interview with Chris Cannon

Sunday, 30 March 2008 ∙ Daily Herald

Yes! Improved system is a step forward

Chris Cannon

For too long, the federal government has asked employers to use a broken system to verify someone's immigration status. We all agree that if someone knowingly hires a person here illegally, the company should be penalized and individual deported. But, under the previous system, both the federal government and employers were stuck using a system that didn't work to satisfy the public demand for enforcement while leaving employers liable even when they used that system.

E-Verify was born out of this chaos and while not perfect, has the potential to revolutionize employment verification and solve many of the ancillary issues surrounding illegal immigration.

The previous program, called the "Basic Pilot Program," was an Internet-based system where an employer checks a new hire's name and Social Security number against a government-run database to make sure the name and number match.

The new E-Verify system fixes many of the flaws in the Basic Pilot Program. E-Verify works by allowing participating employers to electronically compare employee information taken from the Form I-9 (the paper-based employment eligibility verification form used for all new hires) against more than 425 million records in the Social Security Administration's database and more than 60 million records in federal databases. Results are returned within seconds.

Some argue that the system will still return too many "no match" indicators and immediately cast suspicion onto otherwise lawful Americans. This concern is legitimate, but manageable. According to government figures, where E-Verify has been used, 93 percent of employers' queries are instantly verified as work-authorized and only 7 percent come back as tentative no-matches.

Also, enforcing the law will have a chilling effect on illegal applicants. Anecdotal evidence suggests this is already happening, and that, as use of the system spreads, non-matches drop drastically. Finally, employers may not take any action against an employee because he/she contests the information mismatch. Innocent until proven guilty is still a bedrock principle in America. Only now, we will hopefully be able to dramatically reduce the time needed to determine eligibility.

In an effort to bring E-Verify up to its potential, I will soon introduce in Congress the "E-Verify Extension and Expansion Act of 2008." This bill will allow for biometric technology to reduce fraud and prevent identity theft. It will also reduce the number of documents accepted as verification of status from 24 to 7. Only the most fraud-resistant and difficult to obtain will remain. It will also create a uniform system of verification so no state can circumvent the ID requirements.

None of this is to say that concerns about an E-Verify system do not remain. A government database of information on Americans gives me a chill no matter how well-intentioned. Ensuring there are sufficient safeguards against that information being used for any reason other than verification and immigration/deportation proceedings is vital.

E-verify is a first step. But we must keep the pressure on to make sure it actually works in the real world. If employers are provided a level of protection from selective prosecution when they use the system, then this voluntary program will be used by 100 percent of legitimate businesses. With incentives, businesses will embrace E-Verify, allowing law enforcement agencies to focus their resources on those willfully violating our laws and not the people trying to comply.

• Chris Cannon represents Utah's 3rd District in Congress.

That ends the Daily Herald Article. I'd like to add these pertinent facts:

There has been a great deal of negative campaigning toward Chris Cannon already. Here are a few home truths which can be 100% verified:

Truth: The non-partisan National Journal rates Chris Cannon as more fiscally conservative than 96% of House Members -- a stronger fiscal rating than even Congressman Ron Paul.

Truth: Congressman Cannon was given a 96% pork free voting record on government spending by the Club for Growth – one of their best scores.

Truth: Chris Cannon LED the successful fight to keep internet access tax free.

Truth: The NRA has awarded Chris Cannon an "A+" for his work to protect 2nd Amendment rights -- the highest grade possible.

Truth: Chris Cannon holds the highest lifetime rating for any member of the Utah congressional delegation by the American Conservative Union.

Truth: The lowest lifetime rating for any member of the Utah congressional delegation from the ACLU belongs to Chris Cannon.

Truth: Chris is the Chairman of the influential Western Congressional Caucus, a leading organization in Congress devoted to providing a united voice for the interests of western states, energy development and common sense access to public lands

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Alvin Update: We have reached our goal. Thank you so much to all of you have donated toward all the extra expenses with Alvin's kidney transplant. We feel so richly blessed and loved by all of you and the support which has poured out. May God bless your every righteous endeavor and desire. Our prayers, as always, remain with each of you.

What I've done on LDSBlogs.com:

What is this thing called Death?
Do Miracles Happen Today?
Joseph Smith, Jr. - Lectures on Faith
Because My Father Asked Me
13 Years Ago
Relying on Faith

An American's Viewpoint on the Race War

I have a wonderful friend who has approved me publishing her point of view about a subject near and dear to my heart. She is my peer (a published author), my friend and my new hero. I pulled her bio from her website:

J. (Jewel) Adams was born and raised in Asheville, North Carolina. Her hard childhood spurred her imagination and later on those imaginings fueled her love for writing.

She moved to Utah in 1989 and started writing seriously a few years later.

She is a wife and the mother of eight children. When she is not home schooling her children or writing, she loves to curl up with a box of chocolates and read, her favorite books being romance and fantasy novels.

She frequently speak to youth and adult audiences. She has a great love for the youth and because of her own painful childhood, she is always anxiously engaged in helping them to understand how marvelous and special they are.

Jewel responded to a conversation on an email thread because someone sent an email saying we should be a part of history and vote for Barack Obama. I responded, I know you can guess how I responded, saying: "If only his socialist beliefs and programs didn't get in the way of me voting for him." Other responses came and then Jewel wrote this:

I am very proud to be black and I'm grateful for my ancestors. That being said, there are some black people in power, and without power, that make me a little ashamed at times. The ones in power claim they want to help those of their race and bring about equality, but they actually hinder more than they help. The name of the game is POWER.

My mother came from a prejudiced home and was brought up to believe that the black race was owed much because of what we "suffered." Fortunately, she came away believing totally the opposite. She taught us not to see color and that we are all equal in the sight of God.

We lived in housing projects a lot of the time, which we all know are government run. We lived there out of necessity just like so many others, but with one major difference. My mother did not feel that we were owed anything. Not so with so many others.

Nothing is owed to me. If I receive anything, I want it to be because I worked for it and earned it. There are only a few in my family who feel that way. The rest would rather sit around doing nothing and let the world take care of them instead of getting out and doing something to take care of themselves. Sadly, because we are raised in the tradition of our fathers, many know nothing else but this way of thinking, but some of us are fortunate enough to be blessed with the desire to break free because we want something more.

The reason I listed Booker T. Washington, George Washington Carver, Harriet Tubman, and Rosa Parks as my idols is because these people wanted more and they went out and got it. They expected nothing to be handed to them because of the color of their skin. They earned respect and they taught this by word and example. How divinely inspired they were!

The other list are people who I feel are and were, only interested in one thing: Power. Having Barack Obama as president would be bad, and not just because his beliefs and desires for this country are so off base. Many blacks would like to see this happen because of more generated equality, but I think the opposite would happen. It's like having a black and a white co-worker going for the same job, but the black gets it because the company needs to meet a minority quota. It breeds even more resentment and drives the wedge even deeper. I say let me prove myself. Don't give it to me because of the color of my skin. I don't want anything that way.

Now, tell me, why is there a Black History month? Why do we need a recognized month to celebrate our ancestors? It's basically a sympathy drawer that we don't need. Now what would happen if we suddenly had a White History month? Blacks would be in an uproar, wouldn't they?

Like George Washington's birthday, we have a Martin Luther King day, but to me Washington did far more for all of us than King ever did. As a matter of fact, the Civil Rights Movement was one of the worse things that could have ever happened to the blacks, and this country for that matter.

Change is a natural and gradual thing that can't and shouldn't be forced. Taking away the agency of others is a tool of Satan, and that is exactly what Martin Luther King tried to do. He spoke of peace, yet he led blacks out into the streets knowing exactly what would happen. Their deaths were unnecessary and it is saddening that so many believed they were doing the right thing. Change would have eventually come, but as I said, the name of the game is power.

You see, that was the difference between Martin Luther King and Rosa Parks. By refusing to move to the back of the bus, she created change without violence, proving that the small things we do are sometimes the most powerful. She was an amazing woman and I am sure her quiet ways have earned her numerous treasures in heaven. It also goes to show that the trials that assail us aren't as important as how we react and what we do with them.

As for Mandela, and Malcolm X, all I will say is that if a person condones the use of violence to promote peace and equality, then something is definitely wrong with his core beliefs. And as for Oprah, I'm sure she has done a lot of good, but there is an agenda there as well.

Finally, one of the things that absolutely irks me to no end is the use of the term African-American. Who came up with this? My ancestors could have come from Fiji or the Bahamas, or Egypt for that matter. My husband's ancestors came from Sweden and Scotland. Does that make him Swedish-American or Scottish-American? I am a Black-American, but mainly, I am an American, pure and simple. I'm a daughter of God and he has given me a good life because I wanted it. And I am grateful beyond words for it.

Jewel Adams (http://www.jadamsnovels.com)

Are you just as amazed by her as I am? Wow, I have never had this put so eloquently, succinctly and in this way. Jeremiah Wright can rant and rave that I have never been called a n*##%@. I have never lived in the projects. I have never had to fight for my rights. Jeremiah Wright can carry on all he wants, be as Anti-American as violently as he wants. But Jewel is right and he is wrong. Pop on over to her website and purchase her books. She deserves the support! Not to mention I like her writing and already own several of her books.

Alvin: We are still collecting donations. As I said, this is the most difficult thing I have ever had to ask. I have set up a Paypal Account specifically for this effort to raise the rest of the funds. Some of you have been very generous already and Alvin and I are eternally in your debt. I know times are tight right now and so if donating anything is beyond your means at this time, please know that we are still grateful for the great love you have for Alvin and the prayers you offer on his behalf. But if you are able to donate $5, $10, $15, $25 or more, we will be grateful for every dollar.

You may donate via www.paypal.com using the email address for these donations (candace.salima@gmail.com.) The funds will be downloaded from the Paypal account and into the bank account set up specifically for this purpose. You will be able to use your checking account, debit card or credit card to make the donation. This was the easiest way I could come up with. Read More on why we are raising the money at: April 15th - D-Day for Alvin.

April 15th - D-Day for Alvin

On April 15th, at 9:30 in the morning, Alvin will be checking into the Intermountain Medical Center in Murray, Utah for a kidney transplant. He will be in the hospital for 5 to 7 days, on the tenth floor. Any of you who would like to be here, please let me know and I'll do what I can to find accommodations for you.

As many of you may or may not know, it is a beautiful woman who was a Laurel when I was the Young Women President who is giving Alvin her kidney. Her generosity and gift of life is tremendous and Alvin and I pray daily that the windows of heaven have opened and blessings and protections poured out upon her and her sweet family. Tara's husband Billy returns from Baghdad at the end of May. She wants, and indeed needs, to be completely healed by then and so it is necessary this surgery take place this month. That is why April 15th was chosen.

Alvin and I have been working out, and are very grateful to Gold's Gym for making things work for us so that Alvin could work out when he was feeling good, no matter what time of the day or night. Because of this we've been getting in a minimum of 4 workouts a week. Sometimes we can go for 45 minutes to an hour, sometimes just 20 or 30 minutes. It truly depends what Alvin has had to do the day before. He's cut out the pop and sweets and is eating very healthy now, within the limits of his kidney dictated diet. He has continued to lose weight and I am so proud of him. But because of time constraints he has not been able to lose everything he needed to. (He's lost 20 pounds in the last four weeks, but now they want another 30 gone before the surgery.)

We are very excited about the upcoming transplant, and it is indeed the prayers offered by many of you which have brought this about. When Alvin and I spoke to our social worker (Mark) and the transplant team we were assured everything was covered by Alvin's insurance and Medicare. We learned we would not have to pay a dime for the transplant. Which is really good, because the $250,000 price put me into sticker shock that took a couple of days to come out of. Since that time, some added expenses have shown, most of which we've been able to take care of--thank heavens.

This is probably the most difficult email I will ever write. When the new kidney is put in Alvin it will be placed right behind the abdominal wall. Any excess weight on the stomach can cause damage to the new kidney, which is why Alvin and I have been working so hard to get that last 50 pounds off him. As many of you know, he was at 425 when we began working out. He is now at 290. I am so incredibly proud of him! He's worked so hard to get himself in the position where he could get the transplant.

He still has 50 pounds to go, he's lost weight from everywhere and all that's left is the trunk of his body, which has also reduced in size, drastically. But not enough. The transplant team is insisting that they perform a tummy tuck to remove the remaining weight before they implant the new kidney. They will be doing both at the same time. Or rather, tummy tuck and then they will immediately put the new kidney in before they close up. This part is not covered by the insurance, although we have tried. They have reduced the cost to $2,500, which, as I understand it, is a screaming deal. Had we had a little more time we could have worked things out so that we would have these funds. But we do not have the time.

As I said, this is the most difficult thing I have ever had to ask. I have set up a Paypal Account specifically for this effort to raise the rest of the funds. Some of you have been very generous already and Alvin and I are eternally in your debt. I know times are tight right now and so if donating anything is beyond your means at this time, please know that we are still grateful for the great love you have for Alvin and the prayers you offer on his behalf. But if you are able to donate $5, $10, $15, $25 or more, we will be grateful for every dollar.

You may donate via www.paypal.com using the email address for these donations (candace.salima@gmail.com.) The funds will be downloaded from the Paypal account and into the bank account set up specifically for this purpose. You will be able to use your checking account, debit card or credit card to make the donation. This was the easiest way I could come up with.

Again, this is a very difficult thing to ask but I do appreciate anything anyone can do to help. Alvin and I pray that all is going well in each of your lives and hope that the time will come soon when life makes a change for the better for all of us.

May God bless each one of you,
Alofa Tele